(The following is a transcription from a video Linda and I recorded. Please excuse any typos or errors.)
In our marriage, Linda is the spender, and I (Bob) am the saver.
And there are many trials that she has to endure being married to someone like me. 😉
And if you are married to a saver, these are probably going to resonate with you as well.
Check them out and feel free to share with a friend who needs it!
But don’t worry – we’ll dig into the trials that people married to SPENDERS have to endure in the next video. 🙂
You can check out the full video below or keep reading!
1. They Want Us To Forgo Normal Things Just To Save A Buck
Linda: Let’s chat! Number one is they want us to forgo normal things just to save a buck. Listen, my parents, we grew up tight. Our budget was tight, but we would go on road trips and my dad would order food for everyone but he would order one soda. And on top of that, he would ask-
Bob: How many people are in your family?
Linda: There were six of us. On top of that, he would ask for no ice. Well, guess who got the last couple sips of the warm backwash soda? Sitting in the back, me and my younger sister, all because he didn’t want to order. I mean, even two sodas would’ve been better than one.
Bob: No ice. One straw. Yeah. And then the other thing about your awesome dad that I love, and I still don’t believe this is true.
Linda: It is a 100% true.
Bob: You told me it’s true. You said that your dad, when there’s a curve in the road, would drive straight…
Linda: On road trips.
Bob: … instead of going around the curve.
Linda: I would say, “Why are you driving straight? You’re crossing over the lines,” and he would go, “Well, it saves gas.”
Bob: That’s awesome.
Linda: Yeah, we’re calling out my dad on this one.
Bob: That’s awesome. We need to bring him on.
Linda: We should.
2. You Feel Like You Need To Ask Permission To Spend Money
Linda: Number two, you feel like you’re always asking permission to spend money.
Bob: So yeah, that’s never my intention. I never tried to make you feel that way, but I do understand why you might feel that way since I’m the one that kind of running the budget, and I get it.
Linda: This is particularly true if you don’t have a budget.
Linda: The expectations are just completely different and so, you, as more of a saver…
Bob: Well, you’re not on the same page. We’re both just doing what we want and then we both handled money differently so that makes perfect sense. And for us, once we created the budget, that changed this a lot. Right?
Bob: For sure.
Linda: All right. So those are just the first two. We got a few more to share with you, but I would love to hear from you if you agree with these things and which one resonates and what you would add to this list. So definitely leave a comment below and definitely hit the like button so that we can make sure to do more content like this if you’re into it.
3. They Are Suffering And They Want You To Feel It Too
Linda: Okay, so number three is they’re suffering and they want to drag you down with them. I get the idea of kind of suffering sometimes to save money, but living a lifestyle that way is just depressing. It’s flat out depressing. That can be used sometimes, but you can’t do that all the time.
4. You Can Feel Like You Are Not Doing Enough
Linda: That leads right into number four which is you can feel like you’re just not doing enough. They’re sitting here and they’re skipping meals.
Bob: I did actually do this at the beginning of our marriage to try to save us money, and I didn’t force you to do it.
Linda: You didn’t.
Bob: Okay. No.
Linda: You couldn’t have forced me. I would have been like, “Forget it. I’m hungry.” But yeah, I’m glad you never forced me to do it because it didn’t ever make me feel like what I wasn’t doing wasn’t enough because really it’s hard to save money and any little thing you can do is awesome especially if you’re a spender.
Bob: Especially for a spender.
Bob: Spenders, it’s really hard to save money. Savers comes with more naturally.
5. There Isn’t Enough Money In The World To Have Enough In Savings
Linda: Number five. There is not enough money in the world to make them feel like they have enough in their savings account.
Bob: I think most savers feel that way. It just feels like there’s always more. Yeah, it could always be a little more secure.
Linda: The eyes of man are never satisfied. And so for spenders, it is “I just want to keep buying,” but for savers it’s they just want to keep saving.
Bob: Yeah, and this is something that I… And I think both extremes, God has to deal with your heart and you have to kind of figure out where the right places for you (check out these Bible verses about saving money!). But yeah, this is something that I’ve dealt with and wrestled with a lot and tried to come into more balanced with this.
6. They Are Walking Calculators
Linda: Yeah. Number six is they are walking calculators.
Bob: That’s true.
Linda: You are definitely a walking calculator.
Bob: I am. I absolutely am.
Linda: And for some this can mean you’re constantly getting challenged with everything you buy because there is someone keeping score in their head (check out our free savings goal calculator!).
Bob: Yeah, and I think I was doing this a lot earlier in our marriage.
Linda: You’re really good about this, I think. I mean, you’re good about not doing this.
Bob: Yeah. I think I was doing this more at the beginning because yeah, it just seemed like what you were doing with our money was wrong and like, “How do you not know?”
Linda: Yeah, it really just pulls out the differences that you have in your marriage, which can be a really beautiful and wonderful thing as long as you’re using it the right way. Right?
Bob: Using what the right way?
Linda: Your differences.
Bob: Oh yeah.
7. They Want To Squash Your Fun
Linda: Number seven is they want to squash your fun.
Bob: Yeah. Savers can definitely do this. I think I’ve become so much more balanced with this.
Linda: I would agree.
Bob: You have helped me. I think we’ve helped each other as we’ve been married, but yeah, I think savers can definitely tend towards, “All right. Well, I’m just not going to have any fun. Maybe when I’m retired, then I can have some fun.”
Linda: And spenders, all we want is fun.
Linda: There’s no point in saving for later. Let’s just blow it all now.
Bob: Yeah, but I definitely get that. That’s definitely a saver thing. Sure. So those are seven, right?
Linda: Those are the seven.
Next Up: Struggles Only People Married To SPENDERS Will Understand
Bob: Okay, so now that that’s done, we got another video coming out for the savers looking at the spenders, highlighting some of those things, so hang tight! Definitely subscribe if you want to catch that next one coming out.
Linda: Comment and tell us what you would add to this list or tell us if any of these really got you and you were like, “Mm-hmm, that’s me,” or, “Mm-hmm, that’s my spouse.”
Bob: Yes, definitely.
Linda: The end.
Who do you need to share this with?
And what would you add to this list?
Let us know in the comments below!!!
I am also a victim of the “one soda-one straw” rule on road trips with Dad.We’d drive to FL from DE many summers to see the grandparents, and my dad would buy every child a hamburger, but only purchase one large drink to share. And this happened everywhere, road trip or not. If you shared DNA, you all shared the cup,hoping for the last because if you get the cup last, you get to keep the ice( we got ice,Linda). So glad you shared this story. I thought my Dad was an anomaly. He is definitely a Saver.
My husband and I do not share a bank account. I don’t know how much he has, he started being dishonest about money. I was hurt and I just joined him, I don’t tell him how I much I have. How can we resolve this? So basically it’s not our money.
zwarte keukenmengkraan says
Bedankt voor uw informatie. Ik wil meer .. Ik ben het eens met het artikel en een paar zinnen hier, je stelt de zin goed samen, ik begrijp wat je bedoelt, dit zal een mening in mij opbouwen omdat in dit artikel mij herinnert aan iets in het verleden in mijn leven.
Daniel Joloba says
Am in team Savers…all the way!
Godwin Mwambi says
Bob Bless you and hi!
I have read your articles and really do get quite some insight, but I have always desired to have your attention (Sorry if it sounds too selfish but), I have a very challenging situation, maybe normal but unique in a way and I covet your take or assistance / advice. I have severally written about it to you but to no avail. I pray this message would be able to receive your attention this time.
Blessed Regards and to your loved ones too.
i use have friend who use to try to save dollar in anything he does
I am Team Saver. I have had to chill out once my spender husband and I were arguing about generic Cheerios or name brand Cheerios in the grocery store. To him, it’s just cereal. To me, it is money!